For tattoo Removal
L.A.
Tattoo removal process & it's emotional impact...
Carmen here’s what M. Diaz – Director of CleanSlate says about tattoo removal emotional impact…..
We at CleanSlate have found over the past seven years of service that their is a huge emotional impact of removing the tattoo. Validating that part of the process is an important part of our program. We have witnessed several gang members and survivors of unspeakable oppression feel so guilty about the ties they are attempting to break. One of the comments we hear in our support groups is, what does this mean about the past number of years? This name is the father of my children. Though it was an "unhealthy" relationship. "We created such beautiful children". There is also often continued fear of the possibility the violent ex-partner may find out about the removal. This was the offenders mark and their sense of control is further diminished. As in all domestic violent relationships and in relation to leaving the gang, the most dangerous time for the person is when they try to leave. The controlling partner feels rejected, abandoned and scared. So too the gang. We always remember that although they are removing the gang from their body, they do not have to remove the members who they have strong feeling for from their heart.
To deny any of these realities is missing the fact that for many, love was a huge part of "their" reality. We have had to change doctors from time to time because of their lack of knowledge about the intense feelings that are attached to the tattoo. One doctor told one of our clients that he would not continue to work on him unless he removed the three dots from his face. The client got very angry. We had to explain to the doctor that no one can move any faster than they are willing to move. Being forced into things leaves the client without power over their own decisions. The three dots symbolized three cousins who had died at the hands of gang violence and they were very important to this particular client. He was willing to remove the gang tattoo's, but these three dots meant something more to him. When we start to think we know what is best for a person, we fail. We have not lived the life each individual has faced.
In the end, each of our clients have been very happy about the choices "they" have made about the removal of tattoo's. We include on-going group and individual therapy knowing the impact of change. It is very difficult. Most of us find change to be a stressor in our daily life even when in the long run it is for the best. I respect the idea of being curious about this topic before you attempt to create a program. Learn from the ones who have hung in their through all the trials and tribulations. The rewards of course are in the people who find themselves in a new place and beginning a new journey free of violence, judgment and hopelessness.
I would also like to mention that Dr. Popkow has been in the tattoo removal business for quite a few years and is well respected in the field. He has created such a resource for potential clients and programs alike with Tattooremoval.org As programs it makes sense to collaborate and with this site we can find who is closer and more convenient for our clients. After all, meeting their needs is why we are all here.
Paz,
Marianne Diaz, Director & Founder
CleanSlate Inc.
Gang Recovery Rage Resolution & Tattoo Removal Program 562-770-0266
Date:
“they'll still need to deal with the fact that the tattoo is not there anymore and that, somehow, that chages who they are.”
Yes it does.
I think that all people have remorse or feelings of loss due to change, any change.
What an individual “feels” is of course important, one has to remember and keep in focus the better aspects that the change will bring.
Change & growth is just a part of life, life is change.
Jesus
said something very similar about change and growth, feelings of pain and
anguish… –
A woman giving birth to a child
has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the
anguish because of her joy that a child
is born into the world.
(Whole Chapter: In context: )
I feel that similarly, people with tattoo’s may or may not (usually not) feel the pain of loss, but that is the price of change, it's just a fact of life.
Take Care and Keep up the Good Work over there.
Alex Popkow – Agape Light TRP – Program Coordinator / Web Maestro
From:
Carmen Guevara [mailto:carmeneu_guevara@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2003 7:55
PM
Subject: Greetings
Hello, Mr. Popkow. Thanks a lot for your reply.
>I just don't see why a person would be grieving for a reminder of a negative past for, if it were a positive past leading to a positive future why in the first place would they want it removed?
I do see your point. I don't think I used the term "grieve" in the way I meant to (please excuse my english, it's not that accurate at all). Let me see if I can clear it up: by grieve I don't mean the common sadness, pain or the kind of emotions we go through when we -for example- lose a significant person in our life. I am referring to the reaction we have whenever something comes to its end and closure is required, either it is a good thing or a bad thing. For example, in psychological therapy: once the process comes to its end, both the pacient and the therapist go through some kind of "grief", and need to elaborate all the thought and feelings related with the ending of the therapy sessions. Finishing a therapy process is a wonderful thing, the patient has grown, has new pointers for life and it's great that he/she is ready to go on, without the therapist. But, still, a professional relationship is lost and there will be, for sure, a little grief.
I believe that removing a tattoo can be too the ending of something that has a lot of meaning for the person who has the tattoo. And, of course, that meaning can be ralated to awful things, but a sad memory is not less significant than a happy memory, it's just less pleasant. I think, for good or bad, the removed tattoo was part of the person's identity, and even if it's a reminder of something sad, they'll still need to deal with the fact that the tattoo is not there anymore and that, somehow, that chages who they are. I agree with you, it is a change for a better life. But still, a change that emerges from a lost... well, it's complicated for me to explain my point of view in other language, but anyhow, I agree with you in two things: 1)removing a tattoo definitely gives the person a chance to improve his/her life. 2)the best way to know what these persons go through is to ask them about all the emotions they experience and somehow systematize the information they give... which by the way, will be part of my job when the project starts, so I hope I find some interesting data. Still, I would love to know more about the topic, it kind of makes me nervous to start with something "out of the blue".
Well, thanks a lot for your time and for sharing your opinions with me. Best regards from El Salvador. Sincerely,
Carmen Guevara.
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